Texas, it ain’t for everyone
Well, we finally made it out of Texas… Thank GAWD! Texas is an odd-ball state with some very odd behavior and I don’t think the Texans mind that they are different folk than the rest of the USA.
Firstly, Texans can not be confined… just ask Mexico. Paint a line in a parking lot and a Texan will be the first to ignore it. They park where they want, no matter how the lines are painted. The very same thing applies to the driving lanes on the highways. Those painted lines seem to be advisory only. They do 70 MPH on the shoulder and go 3-wide to pass slower cars.
Want to go to church? Texas is the place. Literally, yes very literally, there is a Christian church of one denomination or another on every single block in every single city. Even those cities with populations of 200, there will be a dozen buildings with crosses hung high. The number of churches are rivaled only by the number of BBQ joints… but if you ask me, there are more churches than anything else. These are some freaky-religious folks!
Everything is bigger than anywhere else. Ford and Chevy make “Texas” versions of their trucks that go only to this state. Their vehicles are bigger, their bulls are bigger, heck even the dogs are bigger. If I thought any Texan would be bother by the next statement, I wouldn’t say it; Texans heads are bigger, even than the Californian’s… which brings me too…
Texans are stuck on themselves big time! There is a Texas-star on any and every flat surface not already occupied by another star. If there is nothing preventing the erection of a flag-pole, they put one there and fly a Texas flag. Every single ranch in the entire state has at least one Texas flag flying roadside and another on the house itself. Even the road signs to tell you the speed limit threatens every passerby with the phrase, “don’t mess with Texas”… or what? You going to shoot me?… which brings me too…
Texas loves to brag about how cowboy they are. A town on Texas claims to be the “cowboy capital of the world”. With all the wild west ball fluffin going on, you can not openly carry a handgun in this state. They seem to be a wee-bit afraid of guns for cowboys if you ask me.
And then there are the bathrooms. I’ve never seen such homophobia in the bathrooms. They make sure that each and every urinal has an 8ft wall separation and even then the guys will face 45 degrees away from each other just to make sure you can’t accidentally glance at another mans dick. Like your big Texan dick is going to all of a sudden turn me into a man-lover that will hug you or something. Get over it Texan-men, you ain’t all that.
I dunno, Texas is too much like California in too many ways while taking other things too far to the other extreme. They love to brag about themselves but will never show you what they hold under their belt (penis or handgun).
I sure am glad to be back in F-ugly New Mexico.
